Showing posts from September, 2020

Leap of Faith

In 2018, my sixteen-year-old brother jokingly told me, “I’m probably going to have kids before you and Walker.” “You better not,” I shot back, laughing. Walker and I had been married for almost four years at the time. We hadn’t planned to have kids until Walker was out of school. A process that I originally thought would take a year and a half from the time we got married. Then he decided to get a master’s degree. Then a PhD.  “We’re going to be thirty before you graduate,” I told my husband one day during dinner. He paused, fork in the air. “Oh,” he said, and that look of calculating focus came over his face. “I don’t want to wait that long to have kids.” “Me neither.” So the discussion began. Our entire lives thus far had been defined by waiting. Everything we achieved, every step forward, signaled the next stage of waiting. Years of education, years of marriage, years of paying off debt, years of saving and waiting . . . for what? This was our