The chief and most pervasive sin I am guilty of is worrying.
As a newly-married recent college graduate, there are many
reasons I can use to justify my worries over finances. On top of student loans with painful interest
rates, the start-up cost of building a life with my husband, and everyday
expenses are the unexpected costs of things we didn’t think to budget for. Slowly
our savings dwindle as our debt gradually increases, and with both my worries
ebb and rise like a pulsing flood. Worries about our financial future hang over
my head like a dark cloud…and I don’t have an umbrella.
Sometimes I have to take a breath and mentally berate myself.
If Jesus can calm a raging storm, certainly
I can calm my own thoughts and focus my energy on something other than
worrying.
I oftentimes read Matthew 6:25-34, the famous ‘Do Not Worry’
chapter, when I realize I am spending too much time agonizing over the
uncontrollable. What I never noticed before my most recent reading was that
verse 25 begins with ‘therefore’. From the bygone Sunday school lessons of my
childhood, I remembered that this ‘therefore’ must indicate that there is
something in the prior verses that tells what it is ‘there for’.
And what should be verse 24 but this: “No
one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or
you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God
and money.” (NIV)
Wow, newsflash.
In the worry passage it goes on to say not
to worry about material things, all of which are usually bought with money, because
God takes care of them. Matthew is essentially saying, whoever we serve
(whether it is the true God or the god of money is who we expect to take care
of us. Do we expect our money—a finicky, limited, created resource-- to sustain us, or the Creator God who gave his Son to die for us?
Ouch. So often I put my trust in the work I
do for the money I earn. My husband posed a question to me yesterday that
challenged this mindset:
“Is God using you at your work?”
Blinking through tears, I nodded. I recalled
all the things I was learning and the people I was investing in as a living
witness to Christ’s love. I remembered the ways that God has been working in
our lives thus far and how he has proved with every prayer how much he loves us
and wants me to be right where I am for a reason.
I worry because I fear God will not
do what I hope. But that fear is not from the goodness and love that is
embodied by my Savior. Banishing the fear is a process, and it begins with the
realization that it is against the will of God.
“Then why does it matter how much money you
make? God will take care of us.”
So today, as every day, I remind myself not to worry about
money. Dave Ramsey, who has helped many people put money in its proper place, said
“Fear is the enemy of hope.” Money is a tool, and I refuse to be dependent upon
it. I will depend and hope on God who never fails, and I will work hard in the
knowledge that He has saved me. As the Psalmist said in chapter 25:1: